Halloween night....I was too old (and tall...who give such a tall kid any candy?) to be running from house to house begging for small chocolate bars and cheap tootsie rolls (Which I actually happen to love, opting them over Nerds and other diminutative candies). I'm always take just one piece of candy though; I dont' like stealing from the kids. I'm not as bad as my friend Alex who insists upon stealing the whole bowl of candy when those kind old ladies leave out a ceramic dish which states "PLEASE TAKE ONE"- I feel that I have stronger moral convictions than that lying butthead. Instead, I would be helping pass out treats to the kids, something that made me feel like a skinny Santa Claus without an itchy beard. Suddenly, my cell phone went off, playing "Baby Got Back"...I knew it was Alex. "WHAT UP DOH," he yelled out, almost rupturing my eardrums. It's terrifying to have such obnoxious friends at times. "So I was thinking it would be a scream if we went and rode our superduper sweet dirtbikes around the haunted cemetary and shouted "BOO" at all the dumb kids walking around."
So, I decided to go out with Alex for some reason...I guess stupidity got the best of me, and besides, it was my brother Jarrett's turn to pass out the candy thsi time. I slipped on my new Dwyane Waid flash shoes and started off in the brisk autumn air. I loved the smell of the leaves crunching under my hot pink and purple shoes. The garage, where I kept the dirt bike, smelled musty, so I quickly revved up the dirt bike and headed towards the cemetary. I stuck to the streets, of course travelling slowly so as not to injure the small Harry Potters, Batmans, Princesses, Marios and Luigis. I heard the sound of a zooming engine cutting through the night air, and an evil chuckle reached my ears. Yep, it was Alex. "HAHA I almost plowed over five kids on my way here! It was fantastic!!!" Pure evil, this guy. I wasn't so sure if this was shaping up to be a good idea. I don't know why I would think that injuring and frightening small children would ever be fun, but Alex had a way of inticing people to do what he wanted. He grabbed a handful of candy corn from his pocket and shoved it in his mouth. Pieces spewed out on my face as he talked through the sugar, "So I stole these from some three year old that was dressed as a CareBear...never saw it coming!" We hopped on our dirt bikes and edged our way into the cemetary through the crack in the dilapidated gate. Right now, I wished I was at home eating some delicious pumpkin pie, swirled with Ready Whip on top. But no, I was breaking into a cemetary, not being a goody-good, and my blood ran cold thinking about the poor children we were about to frigthen. A pack of pre-pubescent tweens passed by the cemetary, their voices cracking in the still air. Alex died, i went home, the end
Moral of the story: Only take one piece of candy when the old ladies leave the sign
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